Susan was all set to marry her long-term boyfriend in a wedding so big that even the Kardashians would be envious. But her dream wedding quickly turned into a nightmare and the bride-to-be was forced to cancel it.
She shared a Facebook post to explain why the wedding was called off.
Sit back, grab some popcorn, and get ready to hear a truly hilarious tale.
Susan begins her post by apologising for cancelling her wedding at such short notice and admits that she and her partner have broken up due to “recent and irreparable” problems.
She then delves into a full explanation of the situation.
“How did this all come crashing down? Well I invite you all on Facebook – players, bystanders and side characters of the people in my life – to take a seat and listen.
“You’re all involved somehow, somehow everyone is wrapped into this mess. Even if you weren’t invited to my wedding, I don’t care.”
She reveals things were like a “fairy tale” at first.
Susan met the love of her life at 14, they worked on her family’s farm and with “each warm summer spent in the fields” their love grew.
At 18 he put a ring on her finger. At 20 they had their first child.
Flashforward a few years and they’re preparing for their dream wedding, having saved up $15,000 (around £13,500).
But to have the “blow out” party wedding they wanted, they would need $60,000 (about £46,700) in total, so they turned to friends and family for help.
“I SPECIFICALLY, I mean SPECIFICALLY, asked for cash gifts. How could we have OUR wedding that WE dreamed of without proper funding?
“We’d sacrificed so much and only asked each guest for around $1500. We talked to a few people who even promised us more to make our dream come true.
“My maid of honour pledged $5000 along with her planning services. We tearfully thanked and accepted.
“My ex’s family offered to contribute $3000.
“We made it CLEAR, if you couldn’t contribute, you weren’t invited to our exclusive wedding. It’s a once in a lifetime party.”
So they sent out RSVPs and only eight people replied. Susan was “livid”.
“How was this supposed to happen for a little help from our friends. To make matters worse my ex’s family took back their offer. Suddenly more people backed out, INCLUDING THE C*** MADE OF HONOUR. MY BEST FRIEND SINCE CHILDHOOD. MY SECOND FAMILY. I was so shocked.”
In a desperate last attempt they sent out invites to the wedding a second time and set up a go fund me page – but only managed to scrape together another $250.
Susan was losing all hope of achieving her dream – especially when her ex offered to skip the big wedding and have a “cheap, raggedy, filthy whore” ceremony in Vegas.
She was outraged: “I just wanted to be a Kardashian for a day and then live my life like normal.”
Things kept getting worse for poor Susan – her partner started gossiping about her with her friends, he started staying out late and she thinks he may even have cheated on her.
Ultimately she realizes the only thing to do is to get away from it all.
So instead of getting married, she decides to go backpacking across South America for the next two months to rid herself of the “toxic energy”.
“I need to get away from this awful society. How hard would it have been to f***ing donate friends? Do I matter to you?
“Friendly reminder, don’t think you own me. I am cutting all of you snakes off. I am living my life alone now.”
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